


I Choose You

by ABookAndACoffee



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Engagement, F/M, Fluff, Mating Bond, Pregnancy, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 01:59:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13671924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABookAndACoffee/pseuds/ABookAndACoffee
Summary: The Inner Circle meets at the House of Wind for Valentine’s Day, and the gifts they exchange are more thoughtful than any of them expected.





	I Choose You

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?”

Cassian held his arms out as Nesta adjusted herself in them, one of his arms under her back and the other behind her knees. They were flying to the House of Wind to spend Valentine’s Day with the family. Rhys and Feyre had invited them. More accurately, they had demanded their presence.

Nesta nodded. “Just help me make sure I don’t drop these.” She gripped the packages in her lap tighter. She’d spent far too long trying to procure the one intended for Cassian for it to be lost to some abyss as they made their journey. And she certainly didn’t want to lose whatever it was he’d bought for her, either. It was rather a small, light package, far lighter than the one she would give him. She tried not to jostle it too much, not wanting to spoil the surprise.

The two of them had only agreed to go after Feyre had cornered Nesta and Rhys had cornered Cassian, explaining to them that, as High Lord and High Lady, they were able to make certain demands of their subjects from time to time.

Nesta, of course, hadn’t appreciated the reminder that her little sister was able to wield this power over her, though she was aware of the opportunity to see Elain and Lucien. It wasn’t that Nesta wanted the chance to remind Lucien of the conversation they’d had, the one where she had threatened him with bodily harm if he hurt her sister in any way. It was more about checking to see how Elain was. After all, they hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time together in recent years, and that was after spending nearly every day of their lives under the same roof.

Cassian, on the other hand, was more than eager to spend Valentine’s Day with Nesta, even if it was in the company of friends and family. They were together all the time, him showing her the ropes in the Illyrian camps, accompanying her as she went on diplomatic trips on Feyre’s behalf. But work took up so much of their time together that they barely had the chance to confront how close they had become.

They were greeted with open arms, though they weren’t the first to arrive. Nesta asked where they should put their gifts as Cassian struggled to hug Feyre around her gigantic stomach. He lowered his ear to the roundness of Feyre’s belly, listening for his nephew, making promises about how he would be cared for by far more people than just his parents.

Feyre smiled down at Cassian, waiting for him to finish. Each time they saw one another he became increasingly protective. She said that he was nearly as bad as Rhys, which secretly pleased him.

The sound of laughter came from the kitchen where Mor and Elain were working. Cassian hoped that whatever was going on in there, Mor wasn’t cooking, or if she was, he wouldn’t be forced to eat it.

Lucien and Azriel were speaking by the fireplace, drinks in hand. Amren lounged nearby, adding sarcastic commentary to the conversation.

It had taken some rearrangement of schedules, some pleading, and some outright bribery, but everyone who mattered to Feyre and Rhys was finally in one place.

They didn’t have the chance to see each other very often, and certainly not in one place. Outside of Starfall, there were few events during the year that guaranteed one or more of them wouldn’t have somewhere else to be. It was part of the price of peace, that it needed to be maintained by the work and toil of those who had created it. None of them might begrudge that fact, not after the effort they had gone through to get to that place.

Elain came out of the kitchen, flashing a smile at Lucien. “I’ve finished the cookies. We can eat them later.” She grinned and wiped a smear of pink frosting across her cheek, which Lucien took off with the tip of his finger. He shoved it in his mouth and smiled, while Elain giggled at him and pushed him towards the large chair she wanted to sit in.

“I helped!” Mor announced, following after Elain. When she saw Cassia’s wary look, she added, “With the frosting. That’s all.” She stuck her tongue out at Cassian and he gave a sigh of relief that Mor had supervised the decoration of the dessert and nothing more.

Mor plopped into a chair near Az and Amren where they had settled by the fire, while Nesta and Cassian sat on a couch together, and Lucien and Elain crammed themselves into a large, overstuffed armchair. Rhys ensured that they all had drinks, save Feyre, who was thoroughly hydrated by his constant refilling of her glass of water.

The fact that their entire family and friend group was in one place was a miracle in itself. The fact that Lucien and Elain had moved past shy glances and were sitting next to one another with clasped hands was more than any of them could have hoped for. It had been a long road for the two of them, healing from Jesminda and Graysen, but they had managed to find their way to one another. Not only that, but they had spent an increasing amount of time alone, to the extent that the rest of the Inner Circle were checking with one another to see exactly how far the relationship had come. So far, they knew very little.

Cassian nudged Nesta in the ribs to get her attention on Elain and Lucien, but she batted him away. She’d already seen the happy, if shy, couple. He knew that Nesta may not have been Lucien’s biggest fan, but no one could deny the way that those two looked at one another.

It being Valentine’s Day, the tension in the room between coupled and un-coupled fae was palpable, especially when considering how those who might be couples were still drifting in uncertain territory. Mor was seeing a fae woman who hadn’t been able to come, while Az skillfully avoided everyone’s questions. Amren’s relationship with Varian was in an off-again phase, though she hinted at a lover of uncertain origin.

Cassian hoped that Feyre’s goal wasn’t so much to play matchmaker as much as it was to give a tiny shove to those who were already prone to falling together. And Cauldron knew he needed a bit of help in that area, as Nesta was what one would call a tough nut to crack.

He had felt the bond between them months ago, but hadn’t wanted to say anything to Nesta. Not when one of the fastest ways to get her to run was to make her feel like she had no options. No, patience was better. And for her, he had infinite amounts.

Rhys stood to give a toast once they had all settled in. He cleared his throat to get their attention, but the chattering took a moment and a loud “HEY!” from Amren to quiet. Looking around the room he took in a breath, but before he could begin, Cassian called out.

“Thanks for inviting us, Rhys! I sure hope you have a long and lovely speech prepared.” Everyone but Rhys snickered, and even Feyre had to look away to hide her smile. Her hands rested on her stomach as she reclined on her chair, feet propped up on a settee.

“I was only going to say that I’m glad all of you could make it. This is the last year that it will only be Feyre and me at home, and I don’t think either of us could be happier.” Despite the happy reminder, a slightly somber mood came over the room. It was hard to separate the past from the present, when the past had so nearly taken everything from all of them.

“Now let’s open the presents!” Mor cried out. Polite, relieved laughter circulated the room.

Elain tried to jump up from her seat but struggled as she was stuck in between Lucien and the plush arm. He placed a hand on her elbow for leverage, and as soon as she was free she rushed to grab the package she had labeled with his name. She ran back up to him, cheeks slightly flushed, and thrust it in his face. “This is for you.”

Cassian saw Feyre grinning, the hope in her expression. It was a hope he shared, that Elain might be happy, relieving some of Nesta’s burden.

Lucien could hardly take his eyes away from Elain as he untied the silk ribbon, then pulled away the paper. It revealed a small velvet box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He wanted to hold it close, not open it where everyone else could see, but had little choice. Upon opening it, everyone could see that it contained a plain gold ring. Lucien took it out to see that it was inlaid with a small braid of golden fiber, nearly the same color as the metal.

Elain sat down next to Lucien, crushing him again between the arm of the chair and herself. “Do you like it? That’s my hair, and it should fit you. It’s difficult to know, but I had it special ordered and the woman said that we can get it changed if we need. It’s an engagement ring.” She blushed. “I’m sorry if it’s too forward.”

Weeks ago, Elain had confided in Cassian that she wanted more than to accept the mating bond with Lucien; she wanted a marriage, the type she had been denied before. The bond wasn’t as important to her, she had said, as the idea that Lucien might choose her, without regrets, as she was. Cassian might not have understood this moment as well if he and Elain hadn’t grown close, if she hadn’t confided in him. But knowing how much time she spent with Lucien, understanding what it meant for her to offer him this choice, it made his recognition of the import of this gift all the more poignant.

Lucien stood without a word and went to find his gift for Elain. She had a confused, if hopeful look on her face until he returned, holding out his own small present. “Open this.”

Elain ripped away the brightly-colored paper to reveal a similarly small box. Opening it, she found a silver ring with a small aquamarine, reminiscent of the waters of the Summer Court. She blinked, looking up to Lucien, only to find that he had fallen to one knee in front of her.

“Elain, will you marry me?”

“But I asked first!” she exclaimed. She blushed even darker than before. “Well, maybe not technically.”

Everyone laughed. Cassian wrapped his arm around Nesta’s shoulders, hoping she would see how happy her sister was. Feyre was wiping a tear away from her eye and Mor had her hand over her mouth, trying to keep herself from making a show and taking attention away from the couple.

“Well?” Lucien rested on his knee until Elain stood and pulled him to his feet. “The ring was my mother’s,” he continued. “It was a gift she received from my father, but she had to hide it from Beron, of course. I don’t want it to be hidden any longer.”

Elain wrapped her arms around Lucien’s neck, standing on her toes to do so and pulling him down to meet her. “Of course I will.” She pulled away and took his face in between her hands, giving him a quick, chaste kiss on the lips. She looked around the room at everyone, and then buried her face in Lucien’s chest to hide her tears.

As delicate as she was, Cassian knew that she might bruise if anyone looked too closely, poked at her newfound happiness. Not that anyone in the room would do that. But he understood the raw brutality of loving someone so much it hurt, the need to hide it from the daylight and prying eyes lest it spoil.

“Speech!” Mor cried out. She held her glass of wine up and was joined in chorus by Amren and Rhys.

Lucien merely shook his head, clutching Elain’s waist as she kept her head buried in him. “Perhaps later. After we’ve had a moment to recover.” He reached down and took Elain’s chin in his hand, forcing her to look up at him. “But don’t worry,” he said, looking at her. He spoke as if it were to everyone, but the message was only for Elain. “Nothing in this world will keep me from telling you all how much I love this woman.” He leaned down and gave her a small kiss, then guided her to sit down next to him.

If Elain and Lucien had been hesitant about showing affection in front of everyone before, all of that doubt had been stripped away. Elain was practically in his lap, leaning her elbow into him and clenching his free hand on her knees while his other hand wrapped around her waist. Their whisperings, which had been supportive before, turned conspiratorial. They slipped on their rings while everyone watched, but they may as well have been the only ones in the room. And one hardly needed to guess what they would do once they had a moment when they were actually alone.

Mor wiped a tear away from her eye. “That was just the most precious thing I’ve ever seen.”

Rhys threw a handkerchief at her. “Wipe yourself up, you’re a mess.”

Mor threw it back at him. “You’re one to talk, Rhys. I think you need this more than I do.”

Rhys tried to look affronted, but everyone laughed when a tear made its way down his cheek unbidden.

The joy in the room was so palpable, Cassian felt he could reach out and touch it. He wanted to be able to bottle it, or capture it somehow, even if it wasn’t his own. But perhaps he could still find some for himself.

Cassian made a subtle head tilt at Feyre. She apparently took the hint, because she spoke up. “I think that Nesta and Cassian should go next. They are newer to this tradition than the rest of us, after all.”

“I’ll go first,” Nesta said. She turned and pulled Cassian’s gift from where she had stashed it beneath the couch. It was the long, heavy box that had caused her so much trouble when he flew her there.

She held it out to Cassian. “I had this made for you. The smith who worked on it is supposed to be the best, but there is more to it. Someone else worked on it as well.” She looked around the room before settling her eyes back on him. “I might need to explain it.”

Cassian took the top off of the box to reveal a long, thin dagger. Its hilt was inlaid with a stone he didn’t recognize.

“That’s bloodstone,” Nesta explained. “They told me it means courage and nobility. But the other part, the reason it took so long to make, you need to pick it up to feel it.”

Looks were exchanged around the room, but no one dared interrupt.

When Cassian drew the dagger from its box, he felt a shock go through him. Some essence of Nesta had been attached to the weapon, giving him a connection to her that was a neighbor to the mating bond that they hadn’t yet accepted.

“It’s a protective enchantment. Meant to use part of our bond to strengthen it. Even if the bond is never… The enchantment will work, no matter the state of the mating bond.” Nesta sat, waiting for everyone to stop watching.

“Thank you,” Cassian said. He stroked the dagger’s hilt, felt the weight of the weapon in his hands to test how it might feel in battle. “It’s beautiful.” He kept his eyes on the dagger, his core feeling for that new connection to her, wondering how long she had known about the mating bond without saying anything to him. He wasn’t sure what it meant, that she had not only known, but used a part of its magic to create this gift for him.

“That was really thoughtful, Nesta.” Feyre smiled, knowing that Nesta wouldn’t want her to dwell on it. “I think it’s Cassian’s turn now, yes?”

Cassian stood and retrieved his gift for Nesta, gripping it nervously. “It’s not much. I just noticed some things that you needed or wanted.” He handed it over and sat back down next to her.

Nesta opened the long box carefully. She hated to have everyone’s attention on her, and did the task hurriedly. She pulled from the box a pair of plush socks the lavender color of the dress she had worn when Cassian had come to see her at her father’s home in the human lands.

“Socks?” Mor said, more than a bit of confusion in her voice. Azriel nudged her to be quiet.

“I just noticed that your feet get cold, when you are reading. Even if you sit by the fire, I thought you might use them.” Cassian clasped his hands together, hoping that Nesta would understand. “But look in the box, there is something else in there as well.”

Nesta reached into the box and pulled out a thin gold chain with a pendant on it. She held it up to the light so that everyone could see the ruby shining from its center.

“I saw you looking at it, when we were in Velaris,” Cassian explained. “The color reminded me of you.” Saying anything more might have been too much, too intimate. He held himself back, hoping that she liked it, that the meaning wouldn’t be lost on her.

“I didn’t think anyone was listening,” Nesta said, talking to herself more than anyone else. She stood and left the room, leaving the gifts behind. Cassian tried to keep a bright face, and Mor squeezed his hand in support.

No one spoke for a moment until Elain stood. “I’ll go find her.”

“No,” Cassian said. “Give her a minute. She just needs a minute.”

Everyone tried very hard not to stare at him, and instead turned to person sitting nearest, heads lowered, murmuring and listening to the tick of the clock as a minute passed, and then another, and then another. Elain was stricken and Lucien rubbed the back of her hand in comfort, whispering in her ear as she nodded.

When Nesta walked back into the living room, all eyes went straight to her. She walked to Cassian, ignoring the questioning looks that Feyre and Elain gave her. She held a plate in her hands, which Elain and Mor recognized. They looked to one another, Elain with a more questioning look than Mor.

“I have something else for you.” Nesta removed the cloth that covered the plate, revealing heart-shaped cookies.

“Nesta, those are for later, what are you-“ Elain was stopped when Lucien patted her leg and whispered in her ear. Elain’s eyes grew wide, and then she began to blush furiously. “Never mind,” she squeaked.

Cassian’s eyes were glued to the plate. “Nesta, do you know what this means?” He glanced around at everyone, painfully aware of the fact that every single person he had ever cared about was about to witness one of the most important moments of his life. Even Amren, he was somewhat uneasy to notice, seemed touched at what was about to happen.

When Cassian looked back up at Nesta, he realized that she hadn’t looked away from him for a moment.

“You don’t have to take these if you don’t want them. It’s up to you.”

Cassian stood, placing his hands on Nesta’s elbows. The plate pressed into his stomach, reminding him of the choice he needed to make. As if he needed to be reminded. As if it were really a choice.

He reached down, picking up one cookie. It was ridiculous, that this one bite of food, witnessed in front of everyone he had ever cared about, could be so momentous. Cassian had gone months in which he wondered what it might be like not to starve, not to wonder where his next meal might come from. And yet, this one single bite would give him more nourishment, more satisfaction, than every other meal of his life combined.

One by one, Cassian stuffed every single cookie in his mouth as everyone watched on. Their expressions began as surprise and then turned to amusement as he ate one, and then another, and then ten more cookies, until the plate was emptied. Well, Elain watched on in a mixture of horror and amusement, but it was still mostly amusement. By the time he was done, Cassian had eaten two dozen frosted heart-shaped sugar cookies.

“Cassian, quantity won’t make you _more_ mated,” Rhys said. “You could have had a single bite and it would have worked.”

“I just wanted to be really, really sure,” Cassian responded. He still had yet to look at anyone other than Nesta. He took the plate from her and set it to the side, then took her hands in his own.

Time stopped as he tried to figure out what to say. How much it meant to him that Nesta had chosen to solidify their mating bond. That she had known it existed, yet not wanted to pressure him any more than he had her. It would have taken an eternity for him to explain everything that he felt, and yet looking into her eyes in that moment, he knew that she understood every bit of it.

A thread slowly wound itself from his core, leading to her. Cassian couldn’t see it, but he felt the threads begin, felt those that came from her, reaching for his own. When the threads met they gasped and looked down, as if they might be able to see where they were joined. But there was nothing there. Nothing visible, anyway.

Cassian and Nesta looked up at one another and smiled. No one else in the room knew what they were communicating, though they knew that something indelible passed between the pair. Lucien ran his thumb absently over Elain’s shoulder. Feyre rested her hands on her belly, and Rhys reached over and gripped her hand, reminding them both of what had passed between them in the cabin.

It wasn’t appropriate to clap, to laugh, to cheer. All of that would have been a mockery of what this moment truly deserved. To see Elain and Lucien happily engaged, to witness the creation of the bond between Nesta and Cassian, it had stunned them all into silence.

There was nothing to do but move forward.

“Time to open the other presents!” Mor exclaimed. She had tears in her eyes that she no longer bothered trying to hide.

Feyre stood, hand on her belly. “I’m sorry Mor, that’s going to have to wait. My water just broke.”


End file.
